I thought about not posting this week, but somehow I feel I should. If not just to make me feel I “made” the effort. Herein lies the problem. I really don’t feel like making the effort, with anything.
I have had one of those weeks. You know, we all have from time to time, where nothing, NOTHING, goes right. Add that to my insomnia and chronic pain and I have been struggling to appear even vaguely positive. Should I tweet? Should I blog? Am I better off staying away from all forms of media – social or otherwise. I need to go back to the GP for pain meds, but I can’t bear the battle it will be. If only I could sleep. Why can’t I sleep? Why are my pain levels rocketing sky-high? Why is everything such a battle? Why am I so clumsy? Why did my cake fail? Why do I look so hideous? Urgh. And of course, others have had far worse weeks than I, but this is not a competition, and in real life (as opposed to blog writing or tweeting) I always say I am fine, yes, I feel great, yes I had a great weekend, everything’s good thanks…..so sometimes you just need to say no. Actually no, things are not fine. No I don’t feel well.
I do know that life will even out after a while, and things won’t feel quite so grim. I do know my pain levels fluctuate and so when they drop again it will be easier to cope.
It’s just that this week has not been that week.
And if you are reading this, I wish you peace and love, and I hope that the weekend treats you with kindness.