Me and my shadow

It has been one of those weeks where it really feels like no good deed goes unpunished.

I feel “mind-blown”, my head is reeling with the events.  I try to do the right thing, but this week it has just slapped me hard in the face. Things don’t always work out for the best. People are unpredictable. I am left sad.

I went for a walk on the beach, just me and my shadow. It does make me laugh, at least,how huge my feet look!

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Pebbles

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Pebbles. Stones. We see them all the time. We hurt our feet walking on them. We kick them. We throw them.  We walk over them and never notice them. We never really look at them.  They are there. In time they get beaten up and ground down and end up smaller and smaller until they are grains of sand. Forgotten.

Sometimes after rain, or walking on a beach when the waves have broken over the pebbles, the sun catches them at just the right angle, and for a moment they are beautiful.

Beauty in small things. Things thought of as ordinary, but full of beauty. We just need the right light, the right angle, the right frame of mind, and then we see it. But with a little care, a little love, the beauty in what we once thought of as dull, can be brought out. And it shines.

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Double Chocolate Muffins (again!)

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I made these muffins not so long ago, but each time I see the post and my photo I cringe. I don’t have the talent to take nice photos, but I felt there could be a better representation. Also, I have been craving chocolate, not just chocolate, but something deeply chocolatey!

Double chocolate muffins it had to be then! I have only made this recipe once before, and so without a second thought I happily chucked all the ingredients in, and mixed.  There seemed to be rather a large quantity of batter, which I didn’t remember before. But that just makes more muffins, so win-win! The other thing I noticed this time was the texture of the batter was very mousse-like. I guess this explains the volcanic result. The recipe made 15 muffins, bursting out over their cases (real muffin tops!).  Once I get the hang of posting links (you may regret this) I will eventually include recipes and links.  This recipe came from Good Housekeeping Magazine.

The resulting muffins? Deeply chocolatey and oh-so-light in texture. I’m happy 🙂

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Friendship

I have been thinking a lot about friendship. For quite a while.  This is as a result of what is going on in my life, what is going on in friends’ lives and general observations on social media. And introspection.

It seems to me that the concept of friendship has changed. Just saying this makes me feel awfully old, and old fashioned. But maybe it is that we now place different values on friendship. Then again, if we do, has it changed, or have I not noticed it until now. Or do I simply not have the social skills myself to make a lasting friendship? As I said, introspection.

For me, certain attributes are very important in friendship. Honesty, loyalty always. Having things in common is important, and yet having different interests is important too. A friend doesn’t always have to be someone similar to me, we can be very different people and yet there are common aspects of our lives that bring us together.

Is friendship more fleeting these days? A friendship of necessity, drawn together by a common circumstance, and when or if that circumstance changes, the friendship doesn’t survive?

I hate to fall out with a friend. Especially over a misunderstanding. I will fight for a friendship, fight not to lose it. Because that friend is important to me, because misunderstandings can be resolved, we can agree to disagree, but that person with whom I originally became friends is still there, underneath that all. Why would I throw it away?

When a friend changes the way they behave towards me without reason, it hurts. I wonder why. I wonder what I have done to cause this. I try to understand, to find out what happened, to resolve any issues. Am I foolish for doing this? I don’t understand how someone can just walk away from a friendship without a backward glance.

And yet we all, I am sure, have at some stage in our lives had a friend where after a while you realise you are making all the effort, you are always there for them when they need you, they disappear when things go well, they are not there when you need them. And then sometimes, it feels that the only option is to call time on the friendship. This is still a painful decision to have to make.

I am losing two friends at the moment. One for reasons I cannot understand, and I have tried. I have tried to understand, and I have tried to save the friendship. I just don’t know what else to do. The lack of explanation or closure is what hurts the most.

My other friend was in a motorbike accident a couple of weeks ago. I still live in hope that he can pull through, but it is looking more and more like he will not make it. This is a different kind of sadness and loss. And I feel so helpless when trying to offer support to his friends and family.

What are your experiences with friendship? Do you agree, or disagree? Is there a trick to dealing with all this that I haven’t learned?